Truth and Understanding
by Elvis2392
Summary: (47 seconds) Alexis cannot take it anymore. It is too unbearable to see her dad hurt like this. So she takes matters into her own hands and confronts the one person that has been causing him a lot of heartache. In that moment she becomes his voice.


_**Hey guys! This is my first short story of Castle! Lately I have been absolutely thrilled at how things are going right now with the storyline of Castle and Beckett. But overall if I had one complaint about the show, I wish that the producers changed how Castle found out about Beckett lying to him about being shot at. So this was one of my many predictions for season 4 when the episode of the protest bombing aired.**_

Truth and Understanding

Anger boiled over in her veins as she listened to him talk. Castle had just told Alexis everything that happened with the protest bombing and he ended it with Beckett's interrogation with one of the suspects.

"_I was shot in the chest and I remember every second of it!"_

Castle's eyes glistened with tears as he stared down at the floor avoiding Alexis's gaze. "I'm so sorry Dad," Alexis replied in a pained voice.

He said nothing but continued to stare at the floor. It was killing her to see her father like this but it also made her furious that Beckett would lie to him about remembering when she got shot. After a couple of minutes Alexis asked "Is there anything I can do Dad?"

Rick looked up at his only child with eyes full of love and appreciation. "No honey but thanks for asking," he replied sweetly.

Alexis came over to his side and hugged him. Rick returned the embrace and closed his eyes as he felt the sadness about to boil over in his eyes. They both unlocked arms and he cleared his throat trying to fight the urge not to lose it.

"I'm gonna go work on my book."

Alexis nodded and Rick slowly made his way into his study. As he closed the door, Alexis grabbed her jacket and very quietly made her way out the door. She quickly checked her pocket to make sure she had her spare key and made her way to the apartment elevator. A million thoughts were racing through Alexis's mind as she rode the elevator to the lobby. How could Beckett be so stupid?! How dare she hurt her father like this! She knew that Beckett was going through a dark phase at the time of the shooting and after she got out of the hospital. But there was no excuse for this! Alexis needed to find out why Kate lied to him and she needed to hear what she had to say. During her father's time with Kate, Alexis was really starting to enjoy her. But this was almost to the point of damaging her view about Kate. Once Alexis made it to the front steps of the precinct, she quickly checked her phone to make sure Castle had not tried to call her. When she saw that there were no missed calls, Alexis put her phone away and made her way inside. She quickly made her way to the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor. As she arrived at the office level, Alexis quickly spotted Ryan and Esposito heading straight for her.

"Hey guys!" she called out in a semi cheerful voice.

They both looked up and smiled when they saw her. "Hey girl! How's it goin?" Esposito asked as he shook her hand.

"Fine," Alexis replied in a steady voice.

"Hey your dad left like fifteen minutes ago, are you looking for him?" asked Ryan.

"Oh no, I'm actually looking for Beckett."

"Oh ok. She's at autopsy with Lanie." Esposito replied casually.

Alexis perked up "Ok, thanks guys," she said in a somewhat shaken voice.

As she turned around to head back to the elevator, Esposito called out to Alexis "Yo!"

Alexis turned around abruptly and stared at him with an alarmed look on her face. "You ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine I just need to talk to Kate,"

"Ok then. We'll see you later." said Ryan.

Once Ryan and Esposito turned in the opposite direction, Alexis hurried back for the elevator and pressed the button for autopsy. It seemed like it took awhile for the elevator to reach its destination. Once the elevator slowed to a halt, she immediately stepped out of there as soon as the doors opened. Alexis poked her head around the corner and saw Lanie and Beckett over at the computer talking. When she came in, they both greeted her with warm smiles.

"Hey Alexis,"

"Hey honey how's it going?" asked Lanie.

"Fine," Alexis replied in a flat tone.

Kate then asked "Is your Dad ok? He left in a pretty bothered mood this morning."

Alexis glared at Kate "Funny you should be asking that Detective. Maybe you could tell me." she snapped.

This response took them both by surprise. "Whoa Alexis, what's going on?" asked Lanie.

At that moment tears of anger were starting to well up in Alexis's eyes. Kate immediately came to her side, "What's wrong Alexis?" she asked in a kind voice.

Alexis slowly turned to meet her gaze and glared at her with such intensity like Kate had never seen before. "Why did you do it Kate?" she asked.

Kate took a step backward and asked "What?"

"Why did you lie to him?"

Kate looked at her confused "Alexis what are you talking about? Why did I lie to who?"

"My father! Why did you lie to him?" Alexis exploded.

Both Beckett and Lanie jumped back startled by her reaction. "Ok Alexis I don't understand what did I lie to your Dad about what?" asked Kate in a quivering voice.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Alexis snarled angrily. By now tears were streaming down her face.

"Ok honey, whatever it is you're angry about you need to be more specific." Lanie replied as she pulled up chairs for all of them to sit in. As Beckett and Lanie sat down, Alexis remained standing.

"Alexis please help us out here, you're making us worried." Lanie pleaded in a concerned voice.

"Lanie my anger is not directed towards you but to Kate." Alexis replied in a strained voice.

Kate's eyes widened a little as she watched Alexis take a deep breath and fixed her gaze upon her. "My Dad heard you in interrogation Detective Beckett." said Alexis.

"Heard me wha-?" Beckett started. Then it dawned on her, she had told the suspect she had remembered being shot at. Castle was behind the glass, and she knew that he never missed an interrogation. A horrible wave of guilt washed over her, she was the reason of Castle's pain.

"Oh god,"

Alexis looked at Beckett intently "Now do you know what I'm talking about?" she asked.

Beckett looked at her with a pained look and said "Yes Alexis,"

Alexis brushed away her tears and said "He told me everything about that. I've never seen him so hurt in my life."

"Alexis I-"

"No! Don't even start that with me!" Alexis shouted.

"From day one my father has been absolutely crazy over you. He has gone beyond the call of duty when it comes to you. He has saved your ass more times than I can even count and you have done the exact same for him. I was starting to like you Kate, but after this I'm starting to wonder if you ever felt anything for him."

Kate's eyes flooded with tears "Alexis please-" she begged.

Alexis held up her hand to silence her. "How dare you hurt my father like this! How could you be so cruel?! He would kill for you Kate and this is how you treat him?!" she shouted.

"Alexis please, I just got shot at. It was a dark time for me." Kate cried out miserably.

"That's no excuse to be dragging his heart through the dirt like that!" Alexis shot back at her.

"So I'm going to ask again, why did you lie to him at the hospital?"

Tears were streaming down Beckett's face "Alexis this is hard for me. I was recovering from being shot at. A lot was happening at that time. I remember everything that happened before and after I got shot at. And yes I do remember Rick telling me that he loved me when I was bleeding in his arms. Alexis I was still in shock, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship with anyone yet. I had to regain my stability before that happened. You have to understand that I needed time to recover." she wept bitterly.

The fire that was overwhelming Alexis seemed to be extinguished. "You still should've told him the truth instead of lying to him." she replied in a less accusatory voice.

"You already have," said a familiar voice.

All three of the women glanced over and Castle was standing in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest.

"Dad I-" Alexis began.

Castle cut her off "It's ok sweetheart," he said kindly.

Alexis was somewhat relieved that he wasn't angry but she wondered at how much of this conversation he overheard.

"Alexis right now I need you to go home. I think I got this from here." Castle replied in a casual tone.

She nodded and very quickly walked out of autopsy. Castle then turned to Lanie, he didn't need to ask her to leave. She got up and very quickly left the room. Castle sat down in one of the chairs next to Beckett.

"It's been a long time since someone talked to me like that." Kate said as she wiped away the tears that were still running down her face.

Castle remained silent but he still kept his eyes locked on Kate's. She blinked back tears and asked "How much did you overhear?"

"Enough," replied Castle.

Kate looked at him with pleading eyes that seemed to split open Castle's heart. "Rick I'm sorry about everything I put you through. But you must know I never meant to hurt you like this. I needed to figure out what to do with myself. There's so much in my life that you will never understand. And I don't think Josh could really understand my life either which is probably why we broke up. But he was a different story, he wasn't nearly as involved in my life as you are."

Castle looked at her with pity rather than in anger. "Kate, I'm not going to deny that I am still a little hurt that you lied to me. But I can see that you are still breaking on the inside from after the shooting." he said calmly.

Kate looked away as more tears streamed down her face, Castle gently took her hand and said softly "Let me in Kate."

"Castle-" she pleaded.

"Kate let it out, you will only make yourself sick if you don't."

It seemed as though as if that was enough to break down the barriers. Kate subsided into sobs as Castle scooted his chair next to her. Castle then very slowly lifted her out of the chair and gently set her in his lap. Kate caved into his body and sobbed into his shoulder. He had many moments like this with Alexis whenever she was upset and needed a shoulder to cry on. Castle tenderly kissed her on the head and gently stroked patterns on her back. After what seemed like hours of letting out raw emotions, Kate finally found her voice again and asked "Why did you wait that long to tell me that you loved me Rick?"

Castle cringed at the question "I didn't think I would get another opportunity to do so. At the time you got shot I was just desperate for you to know how I felt about you before you-" he stopped rather suddenly because he couldn't say the last word that could've ultimately taken her away from him.

Kate sat up and looked at him curiously "Before I died?" she asked trying to finish his sentence.

The pained look in Castle's eyes gave her the answer. Kate felt a tender sensation in her heart. "It's okay Castle, if it were you that got shot I would probably be feeling the exact same way as you do right now."

Castle nodded in agreement. "Kate maybe I'm the one that's rushing things right now for you but I think that it's best if I stepped out of the picture for awhile."

Kate's heart quickened "What do you mean?"

Castle looked at her and said "Let you recover some more when I'm not constantly following you around."

"Rick I-"

"Kate relax, I'm not leaving the precinct like I was for the Hamptons two years ago."

Relief rushed over Kate "I still don't get what you mean?"

"Kate for now I've decided that I won't be here for the case. You will do just fine with both Ryan and Esposito." said Castle.

"But where will you be Rick?" Kate asked anxiously.

Castle gently pushed her hair out of her face "Here taking care of Alexis." came the reply.

"Don't forget your mother," added Kate.

"Eh, her theater students will keep her busy. She can manage."

Kate laughed but then she looked at him seriously. "I want you here Rick, the last thing I ever wanted to do was to drive you away." she said in a desperate voice.

"There is nothing you can do that can drive me away Katherine Beckett." Castle replied strongly.

"But I am going to take some time off."

Kate's heart sank and she slowly got up from Castle's lap. "I am sorry about all of this Castle," she replied.

Castle stood up and said "I believe you Kate, and I forgive you."

A few more tears rolled down her face as Castle came to her side and kissed her cheek where the tear streaks were.

"This does not make me love you less Kate. But you must promise me that you will find a way to come to terms with yourself and your past."

Kate swallowed hard and nodded, "I promise Castle," she said softly.

"Know this, whenever you are ready to start something with me I will be waiting for you," Castle said in a steady voice.

He then gave Beckett one last encouraging smile and headed out the door. Kate quickly rushed out of autopsy "Castle!" she called.

Castle had just stepped in the elevator and quickly pushed the button to hold the doors open.

"Yeah?"

"Tell Alexis I'm sorry," Kate quickly sputtered out.

Castle smiled and gave her a reassuring nod that he would just as the elevator doors were closing. Once the doors were closed, Kate went back into autopsy to collect her thoughts. As she glanced at the bodies on the tables, she wondered how many of them had regrets that lingered with them. How many left behind a brother, sister, or a son and daughter behind? Those poor souls never got the chance to make changes in their lives? They will never have that chance to live their lives to grow old with their loved ones. They would be crabbing at Kate for the mindset she was taking about herself. By the grace of God, she was still here on this planet. The one thing that Kate needed to do was to appreciate the kind of life that she had regardless of the dark moments. She knew that things were not going to be easy but she had to stop dwelling in the past. The one thing that seemed to keep her going was the one person who stuck with her through the darkest of times was Castle. Kate was not quite sure what he saw in her that made him love her the way he did. It made her feel good on the inside but at the same time it scared her. Because of Castle she vowed to keep the promise that she made to him about coming to terms with herself. Whatever happened that fateful day when her blood watered the earth and soaked into his clothes was a mere memory in the past. She was going to keep moving forward. And maybe, just maybe, she would have a chance to tell Castle that she loved him.

The end.

_**Whoo hoo! My first Castle fanfic! Hope you Castle nerds enjoyed it! Can't wait for next week's episode. Once again, please review and tell me what you think!**_


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